TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. 
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? 
CLASS: Maria.

***

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

***

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

***

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

***

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. 
WINNIE: Me!

***

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

***

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ’ I. ‘ 
MILLIE: I is…
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

***

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him? 
LOUIE: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

***

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

***

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE: No, sir. It’s the same dog.

***

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 
HAROLD: A teacher