Wife: What are you doing?

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.

***

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure! What are my choices?

Wife: Yes or no.

***

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.

***

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor!